How to Bounce Back into Work After a Period of Grief or Trauma

Owning a small business or working in the freelance world often means that you have to be on all the time. Weekends, evenings, middle of the night (for those international clients) I need to be tuned and ready to answer client queries and book new articles. Basically, my sleeping in or taking a week’s vacation often translates to missing out on possible work. Unfortunately, I am not yet at that place where I can up and leave for a week and not have it affect my month’s budget somehow. Even if it’s an emergency like a death in the family or unexpected trauma.

My father passed away in April, and even though we weren’t that close while in adulthood, it still struck me hard. Mentally, I wasn’t prepared for it. Emotionally, I suddenly became an easy-to-cry, tear-filled child all over again. Physically, within the span of two days, I had to drop everything and fly across the country, during a pandemic, and arrange a funeral and deal with his life belongings. 

I was gone less than a week, but it took me much more than that to get back to my routine and normal life. Suddenly, everything just became so real for me. I was sleeping all day and awake all night. I couldn’t think properly or motivate myself to get work done. I’d literally sit at my desk staring at my laptop and do nothing. I did, however, realize that I really needed to snap back into action even though all of me wanted to just go back to bed. 

So, here’s how I bounced back into work and how you can, if you’ve made it this far, do the same. It’s hard but needs to be done in order to get back to your path towards success. 

Take Your Time.

At this point, if you have projects overdue, reach out and let your clients know what’s going on (hopefully you’ve done so already, but give them a heads up that it may take longer than expected). Chances are that they’re going to understand, either sympathize or emphasize and cut you a break. Cut yourself a break too. No one is timing you (unless you’re on Fiverr or another freelancing website).

It’s Okay to Not Feel Okay.

When you’re going through a period of trauma or suddenly have to take on “responsibility mode,” you may seem okay. I was totally okay while planning the funeral. I was stressed and sad, of course, but I was working hard each day to get what I needed to do done. When I returned home, suddenly all that adrenaline I was relying on vanished. That sudden down when you’re back into your normal life can wash right over you. All that sleep you weren’t getting wants to be taken now. It’s going to take some time before you feel normal again. I still don’t feel normal. Accept that you’re changed now and find a way to work with it, but for now, just be okay not being okay.

Start Small.

If you have a project due that won’t take much time or is easy to complete, start there. When you finish the small things first, you reward yourself with that sense of accomplishment and achievement, which you can then feed off of to get more done. I started doing revisions, answering emails and checking other small tasks off my calendar, as well as breaking down those large projects I used to stream right through into smaller tasks I can also check off.

Go to The Office.

This one was a huge one for me. Sitting at home on the couch with my computer in front of me rarely gets any work done. Coming to the office which I pay ¾ of the equivalent of my monthly rent, motivated me to get stuff done. Here, I am surrounded by like-minded, goal-driven people like myself, I have no distractions, and I feel like I should get work done to merit the money I pay to not be distracted at home.

Try Meditation.

I’ve really added this to my life over the last few years and it has changed me for the better. I no longer have the same anger impulses I had before and I can better plan my future and outlook towards success. In these moments, too, I can clear my mind and focus on the here and now. If you’re looking to get into meditating, Headspace is an amazing tool. You can also take up kundalini locally or virtually, such as with Cheryl Hiebert. If you don’t want to actually meditate, that’s fine. Instead, you can do simple things such as burning incense or using an essential oil diffuser, playing calming music and simply breathing for a few moments.

Get Help or Talk to Someone if You Need it.

Whether it’s an aunt, a sister, or a professional, talking to someone about how you’re feeling can really open you up to the grieving process. Accepting grief is a huge step to moving past it and you don’t need to go through it alone. Don’t for a moment think that you need to pretend to feel normal for the sake of those around you. You don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or to think differently of you, but honestly, you’re not grieving for them, you’re doing it for yourself. If they love you, they’re going to want to support you completely and are probably worried because you don’t seem to be affected. Talking to someone can also help you come up with ideas to getting back to work or getting motivated again.

For more ideas, check out my blog, Bringing Yourself Back from a Writer’s Burnout.

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram.